Saturday, September 23, 2006

Do we call him Ooooooh-go or Hugo or You Go...

Amazing week, no?

We sent a little repair crew into space to fix something... while they were there, a couple of bolts were accidentally released in space (one by an American and another by a Canadian)--- endangering everyone on the mission... And then, just as we're about to return home, NASA spots something odd floating around the Shuttle. The landing is delayed until we find out what the UFO might be. Further review IDs the objects as TRASH BAGS! Someone is tossing trash bags into space?

Was it really trash? Or would we be quicker to accept the trash bag story than one that said other life forms were following our Space Shuttle? Make your own decision.

And then there was the UN coming to America.

My town- New York City - was a mess this week. Thanks to the United Nations being in session. Thanks to the UN, we were treated to traffic gridlock usually reserved for holiday shopping season. Pity the poor cabbies who were barely eeking out a living to begin with, this week was a washout for them.

I have several rants about the UN.

1. They are not UNITED on anything. (except getting free stuff in NYC and being able to do whatever they damn well please while here - "diplomatic immunity" my ass!)

2. Some might not fit the definition of a nation.

3. If what they are doing is so important, why do they only meet a couple of times a year?

There is much much more I would love to raise on the topic, but one cannot spend an entire rant on these idiots.

Spinach is still dangerous.

California is burning.

And the movie just released this weekend "Jet Li's Fearless" - will be his final martial arts epic.

Some week indeed. Find the happiness where you can people!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Slow news day INDEED

Not certain if you caught this, but the cover photograph on both the New York daily news and the New York Post featured in the Nicole Smith a recently deceased son and her newborn baby. These pictures were taken by a tabloid magazine. The tabloid paid in excess of $600,000 for the rights to photograph Anna Nicole per new baby and her son. Shortly thereafter her son passed away. Good taste may have dictated that the magazine not run the photographs. Good taste might even suggest that the magazine just let it go. But good taste is not in adequate supply these days.

And so today Wednesday, September 20, 2006 as the entire United Nations meets in General assembly in New York City and world leaders attempt to hammer out agreements between themselves, agreements which could determine the future of the entire world, what is on the cover of New York's leading tabloid newspapers?

Anna Nicole and her family, and their $600,000 portrait.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sunday... leftovers from the week - but they are TASTY!


Just when the whole healthy food thing might catch on, SPINACH CAN KILL YOU!

Let's not lose sight of the fact that the company responsible for the bad spinach is named "Natural Selection."

Hello, Darwin?

Big Medical News!

5 cups of coffee a day might keep memory loss away!

Researchers say they have been testing the effects of long-term caffeine intake on mice – and it appears to REDUCE the risk of Alzheimers! (that explains the mice at Starbucks)

Shopping Carts with TV Screens???

This could be the final confirmation that The End is near!

Something called "TV Kart" is being tested in certain parts of the country… grocery carts equipped with small tv screens in the area where the kids are sitting!

So far, more than 2,000 TV Karts have been deployed at supermarkets in eight states, mostly in the Midwest. Publix and Wal-Mart are among the chains testing their popularity.

For $1, shoppers can rent the brightly colored carts, which play an hourlong DVD of whichever children's television show adorns the side — "Barney," "Bob the Builder" or "The Wiggles."

They each look more like a toy car than a shopping cart, with oversized doors on the sides and a narrow bench on which up to two children can sit, buckle up and watch the TV in the dashboard. (The screens are about the size of a TV dinner, and cart-pushers can hardly hear the audio.) Overhead, there are two storage bins offering rather limited space for parents to pack their groceries, a frequent complaint of the parents.

Just another case of a great piece of technology being used for the WRONG purpose ---Don't put Barney or the damn Wiggles on these.. put ESPN --- Football or Baseball on them! Men would be able to spend quality time shopping with their wives!


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Whitney Houston is a C.I.A Operative!!! (maybe)

New Address for these two... Splitsville.

Ok, you've read the late-breaking news saying that Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from husband Bobby Brown.

Yes we feel bad for little Bobby Christina...

And parts of me even feel bad for Bobby & Whitney (in that order).

But there is more here, much more than meets the eye.

Wasn't it just a month ago that we learned from Osama Bin Laden's escaped concubine Kola Boof claims that Osama had a "thing" for Whitney?

Ms. Boof (now working or trying to work as a writer) claims that her former keeper/pimp was totally smitten with Whitney Houston and would even consider breaking his "color rule" to include the singer in his stable of women. (so much comedy there I cannot stop or I will never get back on track and to my point)

Bin Laden had (allegedly) made plans or considered hurting Bobby Brown to get to Whitney... but now he does not have to lift a finger.

News of Whitney's filing for divorce must have made it to the caves of Tora Bora by now and Osama is probably dancing with anticipation. The path is cleared, his princess awaits!

I believe this is part of an amazing Government plan to catch and kill Bin Laden AND rehab Whitney's sagging career in one sweet move.

Forget "The Bodyguard" --- Whitney's undercover work will no doubt be re-created on film... but this time I think we ought to let Halle Berry play the lead... although Kostner as Bin Laden just might work.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Where is your flag today?

Exhausted yet?

You should feel as if you've just finished sprinting to the finish line of the NYC Marathon. For the past three days (or more if you live in the NYC area) you were bombarded with images, videos and seemingly endless stories which really did nothing more than politicize the horrific and murderous attacks on our country, our freedoms and our way of life.

While you are riding the couch tonite and listening to the President's address to the country, I want to ask you to do three things:

Deal with the facts.

Remember the day.

Focus on tomorrow - that's really the only thing on which you have any affect.

And speaking of tomorrow - it's Primary Day in most communities - are you voting?

If not, Bin Laden and his boys just won another round.

Ps. Today was Patriot Day as established in 2001... where was your flag?

(Sorry if it's not all fun and games today - but this is not a fun and games day, Spud.)

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Clean Up In Aisle Ten

It's double-coupon day at the "END OF THE WORLD" store.

I'm just back from a weekly trip to the grocery store and things could not be any worse.

Shopping for food has become an extreme sport. When did that happen? At what point did the simple activity of buying a little food become a task that requires a support group and a can of disinfectant?

Aside from the usual clutter in the aisles on Saturday, we are now faced with the grim reality that people think shopping is a competition. Getting through the store in a new personal speed record is vital for some people... and God forgive you if you get in their way.

And then there are the folks just out for a leisurely stroll through the stores because they have nothing else to do --- who are these people? Perhaps they are the reason carts now have cup holders where the baby seats are located - CUP HOLDERS!

But the most troubling to me are the people who the stores cater to the most - PARENTS! Parents are the lifeblood of the grocery store biz - they need parents to feel comfy while shopping - so they have made grocery carts the size of SUVs & the carts have been pimped!

Today I saw a grocery cart with a kiddie car bolted on the front --- a mini plastic NASCAR-like shell for the kids to sit inside --- complete with steering wheels so kids think they are driving towards the cereal aisle. The good old grocery cart is now almost 12 feet long... Do the math people - there is very little room for child-free among us!

Thankfully there are new materials involved - the carts now boast "anti-bacterial" plastic on the cart handles... good to know that the drooling passenger who left the cart in my parking space will not be passing any nasty germs on to me!

At least I can feel comfortable knowing that if the aisle hogs don't run me down, and if the crazy staff doesn't drump a wagon load of boxes on me, and if I don't get run over by an Escalade sized cart complete with a family of four on board... there's a good chance that the handle of my cart will be clearner than the door handle on most puble restrooms. - But not much cleaner.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Farewell Steve Irwin and Thanks.

We lost a good one today. Steve Irwin "The Crocodile Hunter" passed away after being stung in the heart by a stingray near the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. He was just 44 years old.

I was lucky enough to meet Steve Irwin and thank him for all that he had done on behalf of the rest of us.

Steve Irwin was a tireless crusader for almost every animal on Earth. Steve understood that we needed a balance of life to keep the planet stable. He fought against poachers and worked to create safe environments for creatures that many of us would just as soon see extinguished. Not Steve. He got it. We humans were a small piece of the Earth's puzzle and really needed to just fit in... not wipe out everything else.

Steve Irwin was also an educator. His programs, while entertaining, were also filled with valuable information. We watched the kids programs as often as his prime time shows --- that's where you often saw more of the baby animals!

And finally Steve Irwin was a proud family man. The path he took into animal handling and conservation was cut by his father and Steve never stopped reminding us of that. Steve shared many of his adventures with Terri his wife. (One can only imagine the devastation she feels at this time.) Steve and Terri's on-screen partnership was as natural as Steve's connection with the biggest and deadliest animals... they fit perfectly together. Together since 1991 their love produced two little ones, Bindi Sue and Bob.

From what we were allowed to see on television Steve Irwin led a rich life filled with adventure, love, success and the ability to live out your dreams. He did work that benefitted all of us by supporting the cause of wildlife preservation.

Steve Irwin's moniker was "The Crocodile Hunter" - but the word hunter doesn't really belong there. Steve was a fan of those prehistoric looking creatures. He protected them from those would hunt them to extinction. He loved the crocs and it showed. I would venture a guess that they loved him too...

Today, at Australia Zoo, I'll bet Steve's old friend and biggest challenge - a huge croc named AGRO (he was a tad aggressive) is shedding a few tears - genuinely sad, crocodile tears.

G'day Steve, and Thanks.

(Photos borrowed from the web - courtesy or Reuters and AP)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Summer's Last Gasp - and a little disaster advice

The thinking business is booming. At least that's what I'm told. So, apparently happy days are ahead for all of the spare brains here at Stuntbrain central. (That's just a little plug for me. Visit the website, we're happy to think for you.)

This weekend marks the unofficial end to the Summer season. (For those keeping score, Summer officially wraps up on September 23rd.) We all know that Labor Day weekend means an end to white pants and open-toed shoes... and hopefully the worries about hurricanes and high gas prices.

This week the big brains in DC told us that by Thanksgiving gas prices might be closer to $2.00 than $3.00. Can this be true? Filling up the tank might not require a co-signer! That last minute loaf of bread or gallon of milk is no longer a waste of valuable petrol? Hazaaa! The salad days return! And oddly enough, just in time for the election season. Nothing is lost on the Stuntbrains.

Hurricane Season is another subject... Combine that with the 5th Anniversary of 9-11 and the murderous attacks on America and our way of thinking... and I MUST weigh in on the topic of survival and preparedness.

Even if you are not in a hurricane prone zone - I think it wise that you have a "grab n go" bag ready in case the next storm, blackout, attack or assorted evil decends upon us. Think about it. You have car insurance, health insurance (hopefully) and home owners insurance --- but do you have a "grab n go" bag in your front hall closet or car trunk?

For less than what you spend on a couple of concert tickets you can have a backpack filled with peace of mind... (NO, I do not have an interest in this company.) I suggest you visit the website of Saratoga Trading Company. They have nice simple offerings for the least to the most paranoid among us.

I'd like to chat more, but my rain barrels need rotating.

Happy Labor Day!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

"Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa" (apologies to Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman fans)

With all appropriate apologies and no excuse except “I was busier than expected.” My blog is back and hopefully with the regularity of postings and quality of content you have come to expect.

Since July 28th – much has happened
and yet not so much has happened.


- We’re still mired in a war in Iraq that needs some change in strategy if we are ever to see our men and women return home soon. (Ps. I do believe that Saddam needed to go, but would have liked a little better idea of what we should do with the place once he was out of the picture.) While you are mulling this question – why don’t you THANK A SOLDIER for their service. It’s FREE! Xerox set up the site and all you have to do it point and click. Go to the website Do it now, we’ll be here when you get finished. Send TWO.

- Gas Prices – while sliding a bit, have managed to hover around $3.00 a gallon for most of the summer. I have several thoughts on WHY. See above paragraph… Iraq. Then there is Iran and their smiling jackass of a president, and let’s not leave out Hezzba-la-la-la-la-lah and our friends Israel who ratcheted up the tensions to their current state. And OH YEAH… it’s been a year since Katrina slammed the Gulf Coast and we’ve not instigated plans to develop new methods of refining oil, nor have we started building new refineries!

- Speaking of Katrina – Why were we able to act so quickly when the Casinos in the Gulf Coast region needed the laws bent so they could rebuild – BUT WE CAN’T SEEM TO AGREE ON HOW TO REBUILD THE HOMES OF THE PEOPLE? As we sit in the middle of a (thankfully) quiet hurricane season I am perplexed by all that has gone UNDONE.

- Was the inactivity due to people’s needs to politicize Katrina in hopes of changing the balance of power? Maybe.

- Did people get screwed by insurance companies due to pure greed and lack of compassion? Probably.

- For once, I am not mad at Ray Nagin, the mayor of New Orleans. His comment about “NYC not being able to fill a hole after 5 years” was basically correct. Anyone who got their drawers in a bunch over that comment was just mad at being caught with a HOLE IN THE GROUND AFTER FIVE YEARS! I’m just saying…

As you may have surmised, there is a bit of pent-up blogging in me. I must dole it out slowly for fear of spinning myself into the Earth’s core.

The future holds much for all of us. There are so many questions, issues and realities to consider and deflate. I’m already thinking about:

Why is Dancing with the Stars something we care about?


Pluto gets repurposed and kicked out of the Planet Club

Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News

The Hurricane season that (hopefully) wasn’t much at all

Rosie O’Donnell takes The View to new territory

The 5th Anniversary of the murderous attacks on America

Gas prices, global warming, global cooling

What happened to the kidnapped Israeli soldier who was the center of this entire summer war in Lebanon – is he not important now?

How come every country that hates America can call us names, but when we say something bad about them, we’re supposed to apologize?

Is the entire United Nations concept defunct?

“Survivor” – the segregated season. (there’s a lot here people)


The spinning has begun... I must stop for fear of losing an entire Labor Day weekend that was made for riding the couch and storing fat for the coming winter.

I leave you with two thoughts.

1. - Go there. Send a postcard. It is FREE and if you could only know what it feels like to be 20yrs old, half a world away from home and fighting in a seemingly endless war... and then you get a note from a complete stranger who says THANKS. It seems so small, and yet - it is quite the opposite.


2. I have to say something about this world's smallest person.

He's 14 years old and all of 20 inches tall.

The news was obsessed with this little guy and why not? He makes for great closing news banter between anchors. The reality - Fourteen-year-old Khagendra Thapa Magar weighs only 10lbs (and that's with the snappy outfit). His parents have decided to exploit the young man in order to raise funds for his care and education. Want to help? There is a website -

On the site, you will learn that Thapa (that's what everyone calls him) weighed only 600 grams at birth and his hobbies include "playing with pebbles" and "worshiping Buddha."

I get the worshipping Buddha thing... and after some consideration of his situation, "playing with pebbles" makes sense too.

See you soon.