Monday, May 08, 2006

The South... They still don't get it, and God Bless'em!

I've been driving South on I-95 for the past three days (no, there is nothing wrong with the car - thank you - it's one of those romanticised road trips we all talk about taking, but rarely find the time or patience to do so) and on this trip I have discovered much is left to be discovered.

The most obvious thing about the road from NYC to Miami is how many of us are on it for just that purpose - to get to Miami (or somewhere close). And the billboard bear this out. They are focused on grabbing the attention of those headed South to FL. - My favorite was the one hawking discount tickets to Disneyworld - it read in large day-glo letters "SEE MICKEY FOR A MINNIE PRICE" - you cannot get much better than that!

Crossing the border from VA into North Carolina brings the reality of discounted cigarettes AND fireworks into play. One billboard asked how much you were paying per pack in New York City and then touted a carton of cancer for sale starting at just 12.99! (Think how much more you can smoke at those prices!!!)

And then there are the fireworks. EVERYWHERE - fireworks! The most! The cheapest! The biggest! But the most memorable stop was at a Citgo station which offered "Cheap Gas! Cheap Smokes! And The Cheapest Fireworks around. Think about it.

CHEAP GAS, CHEAP SMOKES, AND CHEAP FIREWORKS... ALL IN THE SAME 200 X 200 SQUARE FT LOT! Don't tell al Qeada... they'll look at these filling stations as targets. Come to think of it, Homeland Security might want to post a person at each gas station - we could have them undercover as pump jockeys! Which would also defray the operating costs for Homeland Security while helping to drive down the price of gas - after all, the Govt. has to kick in for using these sites as staging areas.

Tomorrow - I'm going to attempt to explain who this guy is...

And why you MUST stop and see him in South Carolina!


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