Wednesday, July 26, 2006

More shocking news than I can stand.

The papers and news sites are all atwitter over the big stories of the day.

America is fat.

HOW FAT ARE WE, ED?

America is so fat, half of us cannot fit on the X-Ray machines designed to show us what's gone wrong with our bodies because we are so damn fat.

If I could, I would bet the fat farm on what will happen next. Some obese person will die and their family will sue a hospital for not having equipment large enough to X-Ray the deceased... And if doctors had been able to see what people on the International Space Station can see, this life may or may not have been saved. We're too big!

Instead of making the national weight issue important, we're going to make everything bigger. Bigger clothes, bigger cars, bigger everything.

The really sad reality is that we're going to need bigger caskets - lots of them.
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